and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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