By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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