Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
