And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
