I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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