you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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