She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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