Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
