let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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