you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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