I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
