It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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