I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
