dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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