Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
