Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
