By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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