The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What drink are we having for lunch?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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