Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
