my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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