entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
