Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
