Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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