Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
