Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
