I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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