this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
