Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
