You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
