and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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