I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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