Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
