it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
