I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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