Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
