...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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