Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
