I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
