She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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