i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
