i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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