So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
