the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to calm my uterus...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
