It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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