i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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