i would punch a child for taco bell
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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