Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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