Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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