at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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