Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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