Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
