I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
