her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
